After wedding, our life started in Kasukabe, a small town in Saitama, suburb of Tokyo. We were poor by then. Hubby was just graduated, the scholarship stop while his post-doctoral program will start just after six months. I was just landed in Japan. Both jobless. Very small income from part-time job only. Despite life was tough and frugal, happiness  surrounds us the newly wed. Eight years after, here we are Alhamdulillah with much better life. Happy healthy two kids, our own home, job and career. Nothing to complain.

Ten days ago, on our anniversary, we decided to visit Kasukabe a 1,5 hours drive from home. Kids should see where the life begin for Mommy and Daddy.

We visited our old apartment building. It is so old and small. It is just like a cube, contain two rooms total size not more than 30m square. Now it even looks older and clumsier.
The supermarket I used shop was still there, only this time price seems much cheaper. The library I spent hours.
The park we used to sit for hours chatting about our days with the tea we brought from home in a thermos.
We ate at a restaurant which hundred times years ago, we just able to see from outside. For my ego, I ordered what ever I like.

Not much change in eight years. The city landmark, the buildings, the roads, all mostly about the same. The view which rewind my memories to that time.

I have this strange feeling in my stomach.
Still fresh in my mind the headache to manage life in most economical way.
Still fresh in my heart the strong spirit to start the life together, no matter what.
Almost I can still feel the sore muscle after paddling around the city to go places, kilometers away only to get a box of eggs at 20 yen cheaper. No car.
I can still feel the anxious urge to open The Japan Post Monday edition which lists down job opening.
Taught how to cook nasi goreng in small cooking school for small money.
Danced Indonesian dance at elementary school for supermarket voucher.
Handed my resume here and there only to be turned down for my Japanese language ability.
When I got a proper job months later, everyday I rode train two hours one way to work. I rarely get seat on the train, so I stood. I became trained to sleep while standing.

The owner of the apartment we rented was a very kind man. He knew our situation and compromised in some ways. We went to his home to say hello only to find out that he had passed away last year.
Surprisingly, with just a drop-by,  we were able to meet some old  friends we haven’t see for 6-7 years. It was really nice to see them again.

I know we hear a lot from our parents generation how life tough at their time. I never imagine the same graph will apply to my life.
Eventhough it is not as tough as my parents, but I have the similar story to tell my kids.
I feel blessed. I can deeply appreciate what I have.
I am content.

Like it or not, living in Japan, you got handle everything by yourself. In other words, no servant nor driver, no mother nor sister to make your life easier. From cooking, laundry, cleaning, kids and all, you got to use your own hand. So any practical hint, always welcome. So today, when I red this in www.livescince.com, I think I should write it here, so anybody in the same situation like me can learn too (or you gals in Indonesia can tell your "Si Mbak").

Microwave is the effective tool to clean and decontaminate your washing sponges and scrubbers. Wet the sponge in water, microwave it in full power for two minutes. It will kill 99% of the living organism including virus, bacteria and the gang.

Sound easy. I will try tonight.

You know how Cartoon Network has defeated MTV at our 32".
You know how bathroom songs has changed from Top 40 to Top 10 kids song.

iPod nano 4GB, 1000 songs line up to be downloaded. A magic in the pocket.
A pro saxophonist at home played my songs on my birthday. A sweet surprise.

The perfect birthday gift. The perfect love.
Thank you, honey to bring me back my music.

The president of Fujiya, the biggest cake and sweets company in Japan which listed at the first section at Tokyo Stock Exchange resigned yesterday. He stepped down to take the responsibility of the unsatisfactory result of internal audit. 18 cases was found of use of expired ingredients in making the cakes in their factory. Luckily no report of food poisoning or complain from the customer. But the image damage is deep and need decade to be recovered, if it can.

This is a big and bad thing. But I still appreciate the way Japanese handle and take the responsibility when things like this happen:

- The president who is the grandson of the company founder voluntarily step-down because he feel responsible, even the mistake was practically done by a part-time worker in one of his five factories in Japan.
- The finding of this was the result of internal audit, no casualty nor complain at customer side and yet the decide to made it public instead of hiding it.
- Fujiya decided to stop the selling of their cakes and pastry product in their 890 stores all over Japan until quality control is re-established. That mean whole lot of earning.

Hope this can be a lesson for others. Specially those leaders who stubborn and closed their eyes even it is proven that the organization he leads did some mistake/negligence which caused the loss of lives.

News in Japan Times, Japan Today

For the very far walk to the hospital for check-ups, the becak ride to the hospital on the d-day
For the extra pennies you spent to cover all the cost in your very poor days
For the heavy weight carried me on each walk as wedding photographer from house to house at villages,
to earn money to welcome new baby, with a clinging toddler in your other hand
For the pregnancy days you spend with husband hundreds miles away for some rupiah
For the tough days you lived in the in-law’s
For every discomfort, heartburn, morning sickness
For every single stretch mark, blue vein, hairloss
For every second of the unbearable pain of contractions
For every sweat and push you did to pop me up to the world

For the sleepless night caring for me
For all the dirty body and clothes I vomited to
For the whole egg you gave me when you can’t afford any for yourself
For all the nutrition you supplied, from your breast and other food
For all the sore muscle after carrying me as I always cry when you put me down
For all the worry and tears you had when I was sick
For strict spending to ensure you have enough to buy me SGM formula milk
For all the nice little dresses you sew yourself
For all the bedtime stories you red, over and over and over again

I still not say enough.
Not even one percent of what you did.
Now that I experienced two pregnancies, two deliveries, two babies
Two toddlers days. I understand.
That was not easy. You have three. You were poor. Your life was tough.
But you made it. You are great.

So today, thirty four years from the day you delivered me to this planet.

I thank you, Mama.
For everything.

January 10, 2007

My resolution this year:

- Reduce 3000grams of weight and live a healthy life. For the third time I got this never achieved resolution but am not giving up. And hey, I lost 2kg in Dec 2006 only…(hihi try to sprint at the end before the finish line…but not even a single ounce the other months). Cut goreng-gorengan. More visit to the Gym.

- Increase spiritual side. Pray regularly and talk to Allah more, empathy.

- Be more supportive, patient, mature, romantic spouse to dear hubby. 2006 was not a great year for him, and sometime I was so stupid to be so carried away in emotion.

- Spend more time with kids. Reduce yelling. Answer all of Raisa question, no matter what, how many times and when.

- Reduce teleconferences at night time. Be more firmed and selective to attend the project calls that numbers keep on growing almost eat up all of my weekday night. Delegate more.

- Reduce TV watching. Cut Nip/Tuck, House. Desperate House Wife and American Idol Season 6 only are enough.

- Make Raisa able to read and write English.

- Control spending.

- Reduce visit to the shopping mall, increase to the nature side.

- Maintain good friendship with friends and contact those whose long not in touch: Amfi, Viviet, Uzma, Alan.

- Make time for hobbies: reading, photography and scrapbooking which long has never been done.

- Watch and improve my languages skill. Specially grammar as my hubby lately complain about me.